Day 47: It’s a marathon not a sprint

A fortnight ago I did an overnight marathon around London, in aid of Cancer Research UK. It was a fantastic experience, with tough times along the way, but there are a few memories that will stick with me.

1) Watching the sun come up in the city; a beautiful red, orange, white and blue background glowed around the famous sights. The view was breathtaking. Simply perfect.

2) Arriving at the break point at Mile 19. Bodies were littered around the courtyard as though it were a warzone; everyone was wrapped in foil blankets to protect against the chilly night air, and the first aid station had a lengthy queue outside.

3) The number of people sleeping rough on our city’s streets.

When you walk around London during the day, you probably don’t pay too much attention to the homeless. At night, though, the city was emptied of its daytime tourists, and the problem was all too obvious. Doorways were filled with sleeping bags, holding people whose only mattress was a flattened cardboard box.

At the stop-off points along the way we were given energy drinks, cereal bars and bananas; many people were leaving their food and drink next to the huddled figures. I was touched that so many people were affected enough to donate their energy supplies, even after trudging for twenty or so miles.

At church last Sunday, we celebrated Harvest Festival. Although we no longer bring in the fruits of the harvest (“non-perishables only, please”), the spirit remains. We come together as a community, and give thanks for what we are so lucky to have.

Equally as important is the recognition that so many do not have ready access to food and drink. Every Sunday we collect for the local food bank, which provides for people who are struggling to afford the very basics in life: food and shelter. At Harvest, we renewed our efforts; the food bank is experiencing unprecedented demand, so the gathering is all the more important now. Our mountains of unneeded food are being donated to the Wimbledon Food Bank and the Merton Faith in Action Drop-in centre for the homeless.

As autumn kicks in, and winter approaches, it’s time to think about lighting the fire, and snuggling up in a blanket, with a hot chocolate, while watching some mediocre Saturday night telly. If you do have the basics in life, plus a little extra, I urge you from the bottom of my heart to give a little of what you have to someone who does not.

Whether it’s time or money, someone, somewhere, will appreciate it. If you’d like to volunteer, zillions of organisations are looking for people just like you, and a quick Google search will almost certainly bring up somewhere right where you live. In London, charities such as St Mungo’s are looking for volunteers in all sorts of roles, all year round. Crisis runs a special homelessness project over Christmas, and needs thousands of volunteers at this time. If you’d otherwise be spending Christmas alone, this is a great way to stave off loneliness, and get that feel-good glow inside.

;

Thank you so much for reading my posts. This journey has taught me so much about myself, and so many people have said really lovely things about my blog. I appreciate it a lot.

Goodbye,

Shopaholic

xxx

Advertisement

Day 45: Tithe Me Up!

Where there is charity and wisdom, there is neither fear nor ignorance.

Francis of Assisi

How much do you give to charity? Is it a little, a lot?

It has recently come out in the news that young people don’t give nearly as much, proportionately, as older people. What is the long-term impact of this on charities? Will they be sustainable?

To me, it seems that asking how much one gives to charity is akin to asking someone’s salary. In Britain, at least, still taboo.

Historically, religions have provided a guide as to how much to give. In Islam, zakat, the third pillar of Islam, requires an annual contribution of 2.5% of an individual’s wealth and assets. Tzedakah is the name for compulsory giving for Jews; Deuteronomy commands ten percent of earnings to be given away every three years.

Perhaps the decline in religious affiliation correlates to the fall in giving by younger generations.

So, when I’m in debt, and trying desperately to scramble out, what should I give? Nothing? A little?

When I started work, I signed up to Give As You Earn or Payroll Giving. It’s fantastic for charities, because their income is steady, and guaranteed. It’s also great for you, because deductions are made pre-tax, which means that (if you’re a basic rate tax payer) giving a tenner to charity effectively only costs you eight quid.

As a church-goer, how much I give to charity is based on a guideline from my church. Guidelines are useful; in schools there are rules to teach children how to behave, in society we have laws to keep order. In religion, alms-giving commandments are similar. If it’s a law, rather than a choice, there is no alternative. That’s not to say that we should feel forced into giving, just that it makes it the happy norm; it would be abnormal not to give.

Zakat, tzedakah, tithe. Do we need religions to impose rules on us, to behave charitably? In one American study*, religiosity and charitable giving were causally linked, and across the web many seem to think the same. Of course we don’t need these rules. Of course atheists, agnostics, and so on, give to charity, and do not need the threat of eternal damnation or an angry god to compel them to do so.

For me, it’s just useful having someone to tell me how much is a reasonable amount. At the start of the post, I asked you if you give a little or a lot. Who knows?

I like this quotation and I hope that, whether religiously inclined or not, you do too (non-believers can just ignore the last six words!):

Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver

(2 Corinthians 9:7)

*Wolfgang Bielefeld, Gifts of Money and Time: the Role of Charity in America’s Communities, ed. Arthur C. Brooks (New York: Rowman & Littlefield, 2005).

Day 43: The Yo-Yo Diet

“Shopaholic”, I hear you cry, “have you gone on a diet?”. Well, my friends, in a way. It occurred to me earlier that this cut-back exercise is quite like a diet in some respects; a self imposed restriction on things I like.

Given the similarities, are there lessons I can learn from yo-yo dieters, without making the mistakes myself?

The yo-yo cycle often occurs because dieters are so strict with themselves at the start. The effort is so extreme that is is completely impossible to sustain.

Likewise, I found my sudden halt in spending pretty tough, and have a longing for some former favourites. I miss flicking through a magazine, buying into the latest trend, enjoying a large glass of Chilean Merlot on a Friday night. It’s oh-so-tempting to slip back into old habits.

Initially, dieters feel great; they’re looking forward to the weight loss, and they’re proud of themselves for shunning the sugar. As time crawls along, though, it seems harder to sustain. Tired and fed up, they reach for a pick-me-up: food.
Again, I relate to the experience; I felt very self-satisfied with my initial budget-slashing, and looked forward to watching the debt diminish and the savings stack up. When I passed the first thirty day marker, still in debt and still running a deficit, my motivation wavered. I felt like reaching for my equivalent of the dieter’s chocolate bar: the shops.

So, having failed, and feeling upset, the dieter eats more and more until they regain the weight they lost (and usually a bit more).

And here’s the lesson. Now that the initial excitement has passed, and I am in the humdrum period of living with less, how do I ensure I do not slip backwards?
Already I’ve clocked myself casually buying tea at Pret-a-Manger and “forgetting” my packed lunch. It’s so easy to forget how quickly all those “little extras” used to kill off my cash.

Perhaps the trick is to treat myself with non-monetary rewards. Here are a few of my practically free treats:
1) Time spent relaxing is pretty cheap; a candle-lit bubble bath, chilling out in front of the TV, doing the crossword and listening to the radio are all pretty much free, and are all amongst my favourite things to do!
2) Living in one of the most hectic cities in the world is fantastic, but escaping to the country is a retreat, and another cheap thrill. Just looking at the sky and the stars, listening to the birds sing or breathing in the heady fresh air all make such a difference; I know it sounds clichéd and trite, but it’s true.
3) Unfortunately for the real yo-yo dieter, food is a great pleasure, and as I’ve learned, doesn’t have to be expensive to taste delicious and be nutritionally balanced.

“Joy” comes in all kinds of guises, and what qualifies for my list won’t necessarily be on yours. One thing’s for sure, though. Having a few reliable freebies on the list, whatever they may be, certainly helps the shopaholic to cut back!

Thanks for reading,
Xx

Day 41: Savvy saver or massive miser?

Searching for inspiration for more cost-cutting tricks, I just came across a forum on loo roll use.
Come on, hundreds of people spending hours discussing how to minimise toilet paper use? One, gross, and two, get a life!! Perhaps this is the signal to prompt me into taking my cost reduction exercise more seriously. On the other hand… No. Just, no.

More seriously, I did come across a couple of more useful ideas. One with remarkably higher success rates than I expected was haggling.

The money saving expert website did a poll of 2,544 people, where at least 100 attempted to haggle in each store. In Comet, B&Q and Currys/PC World 78% met with success.

Could I do it, though? It takes a certain chutzpah to even attempt to barter, which I’m just not sure I have.

The easiest place to barter, I find, is my local market. The greengrocer has an easy, flirty rapport with his customers and often offers a “discount” (either to shift produce nearing the end of its life, or where the so-called “discount” is no such thing). The irony, of course, is that the greengrocer’s margins are much slimmer than the major supermarkets’, where I would never dare to barter.

If you’re interested, though, the poll found 60% luck at Asda, 58% at Tesco and 54% at Sainsbury’s. So, if you’re confident enough, it’s certainly worth a try. The worst outcome will be “no”.

The cashiers at the supermarket checkout are usually in no position to offer a discount, while 10% off a single sale would have a negligible result on their finances. On the other hand, the greengrocer is autonomous enough to gauge what effect a discount would have on his profits. One discount could be damaging to his finances, yet could keep customers loyal.

Personally, I don’t have the audacity required; I’d hate the humiliation of trying and failing at the supermarket checkout. I’d hate the awkwardness of requesting a further discount on already bargain prices from the greengrocer.

 

If you’re brave enough, though, go for it. You’ve got nothing to lose.

Day 39: Hello Boys!

When I first started writing this blog, I blithely assumed I’d get many times more female readers than male. I cemented my own prejudice with a pink logo and background, and pictures of young women laden with shopping bags.

So it has been surprising to find that men have been telling me how they enjoy my writing, and that they relate to the subject matter.

I consider myself a feminist (it’s not a dirty word, y’know), so it’s incredibly embarrassing for me that, without thinking about it, I equated a lack of self-restraint, and the inability to manage money, with being a woman. I suppose it has just been ingrained in me that women go out to shop, vainly buying fripperies, while men do not. Ouch.

I’m shocked at my own prejudice. Lloyds TSB issued their ’Family Savings Report’ last month. It showed that when women are in charge of household finances, 91% of families hold savings, whereas the figure goes down to 82% when men take on the role.

The report also showed that it is women, more often than men, who take charge of the household budget. 52% take control of making detailed future plans for savings and 54% pay day-to-day bills and keep track of spending.

So, do I have any excuse at all for my extremely un-feminist view that women shop and spend more than men?

Women certainly do have expenses that men do not. Biology plays its part (I’m thinking of everything from sanitary products to bras), but so do the demands of society. Haircuts, make-up, ever-changing fashions, handbags, nail varnish? Not things that every woman relishes spending her hard-earned cash on, but often bought out of a sense of simply having to do so, to keep up or fit in. Women’s magazines are forever promoting the “payday splurge”, reinforcing the notion that women cannot, or should not, get on top of their personal finance.

Increasingly, though, men are coming under pressure to look good, too. The fashion industry is starting to pay more attention to trends in menswear, and cosmetics advertising is beginning to target men more often.

Debates on the question of whether women’s lives are more expensive often suggest that men have other expenses that women do not, citing technology and cars. Perhaps I’m just being hyper-hypocritical here, but I find this argument extremely patronising. My iPad, smartphone and my gorgeous car, for example, are among my favourite possessions.

So, whose lives are more expensive? Or does it all even out in the wash?

I’d love to hear your thoughts. Comment below, or write on the Facebook wall.
Xxx

Day 37: #EpicFail

For those of you who read my post on the Livingstone Tanzania Trust two days ago, prepare yourself for a stark shock.

Readers, I confess to you that I have slipped up. I have not kept to the budget at all recently. In fact, I would go so far as to say that, in diet-terms, I have just had an ice-cream/chocolate/crisps and cake all-out binge. And now I feel a little bit sick.

This used to happen a lot. It’s how I ended up buying an iPad, in fact. I was having a particularly rubbish day, and after leaving work, I went home via the shopping centre. Before I knew it I was walking out of a shop having just paid an inordinate amount for a gadget for which I had no need. It’s as though I’m in a hypnotic trance when it happens; my head is wrongly programmed to react with “BUY! BUY! BUY!” in response to sadness, stress or anger.

Recently, though, I’ve been a lot better. I think this is to do with feeling accountable, as a result of writing this blog. I could have just lied to you all, and pretended that I was behaving like an angel, making no mistakes, and generally being perfect. I’m not, though. Obviously.

However, I have been feeling a bit low, and my old shopping habits came back in force. I even used all my old excuses to let myself get away with it, to convince myself that I was doing nothing wrong. “It’ll be an early Christmas present (to myself)” or “Well, I do really need it” or even “If I buy it on my credit card, it doesn’t count as part of this month’s budget”. It’s just too easy to click “Buy Now” in an internet browser, without thinking through the consequences.

Fortunately, I haven’t quite gone to iPad extremes, this time.

I know I need to do something more useful, less destructive, to help myself when I’m down. I’m too hyper for yoga, pilates or meditation. But, generally, I’m open to ideas. Readers, please, I’m depending on you now! What should I do to calm down and relax, without resorting to shopping? All ideas will be appreciated. You can write on the wall of the Shopaholic Cuts Back Facebook page (http://www.facebook.com/ShopaholicCutsBack) or in the comments box below.

Thanks, readers!

xxx

Day 35: Perspective

“Like, oh-my-god, this whole, like “not shopping” thing is, like, so hard.”

 

While I go on struggling with my lamentable attempts to cut down on caffeine and consumables, the “Make a Difference” service at my church is a fantastic opportunity to get some perspective on things.

Last Sunday, Julian Page, from the Livingstone Tanzania Trust (LTT), came to talk. A legacy fund from Holy Trinity has been supporting the Trust, and Julian came to talk to us about what had been achieved over the past year with the money given.

I found the talk extremely moving; I’d been having a bad day, mulling over everything that was wrong in the world, and hearing about the work of the Trust both exacerbated and alleviated this. Oxymoronic, I know.

 

Well, it made me even more sad and angry, because the problems faced by those the LTT helps are still so basic. Consider, for a moment, that people in Britain have just spent days queuing for the latest iPhone. Then consider that in Tanzania nursery-aged children are being given substandard education in rooms such as this:

http://www.livingstonetanzaniatrust.com/our-work/gallery/?wppa-album=5&wppa-photo=723&wppa-occur=1

On the other hand, I was cheered by how much has been done to improve things. Julian was emphatic in the “hand up not hand out” philosophy of the Trust, and made it clear that they were not going over to Tanzania to impose our “better” way of life on the people there.

In any case, would you argue that the consumerist, western ways are “better”?

Just look at the smile on this child’s face (thanks to the LTT for this photo):

 

 

Julian’s presentation reminded me of my own visit to a country bordering Tanzania to the south, Malawi.

Although it was now quite a few years ago, I remember my trip to Malawi as one of the most privileged, eye-opening and rewarding times of my life.

During his talk, Julian mentioned how happy people are in Tanzania. (Happy, remember, without the iPhone 5. . .) I experienced the same thing in Malawi. I was humbled by how people could have such warm, bright smiles on their faces amidst such grinding, apparently unending, poverty.

 

Me at the Open Arms Orphanage in Blantyre, Malawi (before Madonna came along. . .)

 

It’s important, I feel, to keep putting things into perspective, especially while writing this blog.

I may come across as materialistic, possibly narcissistic, in my shallow existence. So it’s crucial to show the other side; to remind myself (and others) that struggling not to buy x, y or z, is just nothing. Nothing.

When you see the state of the classrooms that young children are being educated in (if they get schooling at all), how can you possibly dither over buying something else that you don’t even need?

 

Thanks for reading. xxx

 

With many thanks to Julian Page, Director of Operations and Trustee of the Livingstone Tanzania Trust

You can find out much more about the Trust’s work at their website:

http://www.livingstonetanzaniatrust.com/

If you’d like to donate to the Livingstone Tanzania Trust, please visit:

http://www.livingstonetanzaniatrust.com/donate/how-to-donate/

Day 33: The Ugly Duckling

Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it.

Confucius

On Saturday night I, unusually for me, joined my housemates for drinks in a fashionable bar. Days before the event I’d started to get anxious. How would I pay for drinks, and stay within my budget? What would I wear to fit in with my glamorous friends?

In the end, I just felt like the Ugly Duckling, the odd one out, pale and frumpy. I stumbled in my shoes like a child dressing up in their mother’s heels.

My housemates were tall and beautiful, bronzed and dolled up to the nines.

I bought the first round of drinks, and almost had a heart attack at how much they charged to my debit card. Why would anyone pay this much for drinks on a regular basis?! I shook my head in disbelief.

My pulse was racing. It was as though I was in the 100 metre final at the Olympics; except that while everyone else legged it to the finish line, I had to wade through Marmite to get there. I was falling behind, and getting very frustrated.

So, would it have made such a difference if I’d been able to buy a new party dress, a glamorous pair of heels, or if I could have bought that round of drinks and shrug at the cost?

Last year, the NHS was good enough to pay for me to have a series of sessions of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). It transformed my life, and I am forever grateful that I was able to have this treatment without having to pay for private healthcare.

Something I often discussed with my therapist was the importance I placed on the “packaging” in life. She taught me to see that even if others’ lives appeared flawless on the outside, nobody’s life is perfect in reality.

The guys and girls in that bar looked stunning, rich and care-free. By comparison, I was just a “loser”.

Yet I know that I must convince myself that just because I can’t afford a new dress, shoes, or overpriced drinks, I’m no “worse off” (figuratively speaking) than them.

When you place too much emphasis on “packaging”, you quickly forget what’s really important in life. Cutting back has, at times, made me feel like I’m not keeping up, like I’m not good enough, like I’m a “loser” (whatever that means).

Life’s too important to waste on feeling inadequate, simply because I can’t afford as much as The Glamorous.

I don’t think that this (re-)discovery will transform my mindset overnight. It’s a good reminder, though. It’s something that I have to keep reminding myself, too. Otherwise I very quickly become anxious. And life is too short for such superficial worries.

Thanks for reading,

xxx

Day 31: The Acid Test

Payday.

This is the acid test.

Consider these facts. For one month I have (unlike a usual month) bought no DVDs, books, magazines or newspapers. I have not once eaten out, or been out for drinks. I have cut down on buying drinks (tea/water) when out and about. I have cut my rent by £175/month. For half of the month all of my food was paid for by the company. For the two weeks when I paid for my own food, I made my meals from scratch, rather than buying ready meals; I took packed lunches to college. I have not been to the theatre or cinema, etc, at all. Not once have I bought cosmetics, accessories, etc.

So, what do you reckon, have I managed to live within my means, and not get overdrawn?

Made up your mind?

Well, the answer is: No, not this time, I’m afraid.

And here’s how it happened. . .

The Wicked One-Offs

There were a couple of “unfortunate incidents” this month. For one, my super-efficient, low-emission, congestion-charge-free car. . .

. . .scored a spectacular own-goal by racking up a £60 congestion charge fine, which was exacerbated by a £30 “admin fee” to my company car organisers. Yes, you read that correctly; “congestion-charge-free” and “[£90] congestion charge fine”. That’s because, somewhere in the need-a-magnifying-glass-to-see-it small print, TFL informs those who can hunt down the terms and conditions, that even congestion-charge-free cars have to pay £10 annually for a congestion charge exemption. Otherwise you still get the fine. Ouch.

The second annoyance involves my downsizing to a smaller room. In order to do this, I’ve enlisted my wonderful Superman of a friend, Dan, to come and help me move. I’d never be able to move beds, bookcases and chests of drawers without him. Nevertheless, there are a few unavoidable, one-off costs of moving.

The Awful Annuals

Unfortunately, this was also a harsh month for annual payments. My resident’s parking permit was £65, and the television license we finally got around to paying was £48.50 each.

Less awful is the £12 I shelled out for the NUS card, which often gives me a discount of 10% in shops, and which easily pays for itself.

£10 annual congestion charge fee exemption. See above. Grump, grump.

Queasy Quarterlies

Isn’t it horrible when the gas bill lands on the doormat? Especially over the winter months. Fortunately, having just survived the British summer, the gas and electricity bill wasn’t too scary. Nevertheless, it’s another £44.83 to add to the pile.

The other quarterly I paid for this month was a haircut, which I bought a voucher for, at £29.00, and which I hope to use in late October.

The Miserable Monthlies

It’s this category where the costs stack up at an eye-watering rate.

Rent, at the new, lower level is still nearly £500.

My travel-card came to £135.50, because in addition to the three weekly passes I had to buy to get to college, I also had some weekend travel, which meant topping up my Oyster card with a large bank note.

Next on the list are council tax (£58 per month) and my gym membership (£51).

I pay £33 for my mobile phone, and £10 for the landline and internet. I have a monthly prescription, which is £7.65 a pop.

Petrol, net of reimbursements from work, came to £80 this month. I’m paid a pittance for my petrol expenses. This is for several reasons; firstly, due to the efficiency of my car. Secondly, reimbursements simply aren’t keeping up with increasing fuel prices. Lastly, as I lease rather than own my car, I am remunerated for petrol only, and not depreciation or anticipated repairs and maintenance.

Add to these fixed costs a variable amount for food, depending on whether I’m away with work, and for how long.

The Rest

Until our new housemate moves in, I’ve covered her portion of the television license (£40). Of course, this only impacts on my budget in terms of the month’s cash-flow; overall I’ll be no worse off.

A couple of things I’ve already mentioned in the blog: a couple of bargain Christmas presents and the costs of renovating an old desk, as well as buying a water bottle, to save money on bottled mineral water.

————-

So, Shopaholic still has a LOT of Cutting Back to do to really earn her stripes . . .

————-

As always, suggestions are very welcome. Click the “Help!!” tab in “The Learning Curve” at the top of the page.

————-

Thanks for reading. Start a trend – share with a friend 🙂

Day 30: Reflecting on the first 30 days

I realise that I’ve made this all sound very easy. I’ve written about all the new experiences I’ve had, from the mundane (writing a shopping list) to the more exciting (becoming a mystery shopper, “upcycling” my desk).

Perhaps I glamorise “being poor” because, in the grand scheme of things, I’m not. What’s more, I expect to earn more, and not less, in the future. So, ultimately, I’m play-acting.

I’m not skipping meals for lack of money. When the boiler or fridge break, they are fixed. I’m not shivering with hypothermia through winter as a result of having no more money to feed the meter.

I hope I haven’t offended people as a result of my flippant references to not “having enough”. I’m only too aware that I am very lucky to earn as much as I do, and that I only have such a well-paid, professional-level job as a result of my upbringing. My parents prioritised my education at every stage, and supported and pushed me to the best of my abilities. If they had not, I would not be where I am today.

I’m also lucky enough that when I was stupid and irresponsible enough to get into debt, my parents were able to bail me out.

If I told you that I have struggled with this budget-slimming, you’d have every right to be totally unsympathetic. I struggle with not buying overpriced caffeine. I struggle not walking into a shop when I see something beautiful in the window. I struggle not meeting my friends for drinks or meals out. I struggle not to buy theatre tickets, especially when I see a great review, or a favourite actor starring.

So what? Get over it!

That “we’re all in this together” slogan is utter nonsense. Boo-hoo, I can’t see Simon Callow or Hedda Gabler. Alas, one shall have to cut down on caviar and champagne for breakfast. To argue that the impact of this recession is equal across the social classes is absurd. Our difficulties are simply not on the same scale.

Nevertheless, the hurdles that I’m confronting, while minute trifles to most, are difficult for me.

I am of the opinion that I must do two things to avoid being a risible figure here.

One; never lose sight of what most people have (and do not have). Be it by giving to the South Wimbledon food bank, volunteering with Crisis at Christmas and the Holy Trinity Church Winter night shelter for the homeless, or simply by lending an ear to lonely people at church, who just need someone to listen.

Two; by taking on a personal challenge, to be less materialistic and to spend less. In the first instance, it doesn’t matter too much if my spending levels are still relatively high, so long as I attempt something that is difficult for me. In time I can work on beating down my expenses further. For now, though, I’m satisfied that I’m trying. When the going gets tough…

Wow, 30 days already! Thank you so much for reading (almost 2,000 views in the first month!!)