Day 65: One More Addiction

Anyone got any (metaphorical) nicotine patches or AA tips? I’ve been feeling pretty self-satisfied with how little I’ve bought since I started this challenge, but now I’m starting to get the come-down jitters.

Last weekend I went home to see my parents, and had a wander around the shops with Mum.
I suppose this would be the equivalent of putting a recovering alcoholic in a brewery, or someone trying to quit smoking in a room full of smokers.

Everything is so beautiful! The shops glitter with Christmas party dresses. Gorgeous winter woollies in Fairisle knit just make you want to snuggle up in hibernation.

To me, every item promises new life. A new running kit will mean that you suddenly LOVE going to the gym. Home accessories like cushions and candles will make you feel cosy and warm. A stunning dress will make you feel like a million dollars.

When the products on the shelves call to me like this, it can be hard to ignore. It’s all rubbish, of course. You get a temporary lift, a little boost as you tell yourself the benefits of what you’ve just bought. It’s all a trick, though, isn’t it? The retailers want me to think that every item offers a new beginning, rather than being just another “thing”.

At home this weekend, we exchanged Christmas wish lists. I had to divide mine into the slightly more realistic, and the nigh-on impossible.

My real Christmas list has some fairly mundane items on it, like slippers (let’s turn the heating down now, girls). I’d also love a new pair of running leggings, since I left mine behind in a hotel room when I was away with work, and haven’t been able to recover them.

The dream list? How I’d love to fill a shopping trolley with the contents of a Fat Face store. Oh, and if you’re offering, I’d be chuffed with a new smartphone, a MacBook Air, a sunny holiday, and an obscenely cool SLR camera. What’s that? You weren’t offering? Oh, darn.

Shops make me feel like my desire is normal; as though all these things are attainable. ‘What do you mean you haven’t got a few grand spare to spend on gadgets and clothes?’ they ask, ’What’s wrong with you?!’.

Each time the latest version of a gizmo is released it makes the problem worse. The poorest in society fall one step further behind. The gap between the ‘haves’ and ‘have-nots’ widens. We seem to be obsessed with having the latest, to hell with the cost and how much money we actually have.

I’m angry, to tell the truth. I’m angry that I’m made to feel dissatisfied and inadequate, because I can’t keep up. I’m angry that people struggle to do so, when there’s absolutely no need. What made people think it was unacceptable to go to a friend’s house for a cup of tea, rather than meeting in an overpriced coffee shop? Who does it benefit when a new trend is decreed each season? Why do we feel worthless and do ourselves down, just because we can’t adhere to the fashion dictators’ rules?

I’ve got no solutions; every tweak that Apple makes will indoctrinate people into wanting to needlessly spend hundreds of pounds. For some, it will cement a feeling of alienation from a society that measures a man’s worth by how much he owns.

I think you just have to be wary, and be fully aware that it’s the ad man’s job to convince you that your self worth depends on buying that product immediately.

You can choose not to buy something, not because you can’t afford it, but because you know that you haven’t been sucked into the crazy vortex. And as you walk past that item, choosing not to buy it, you can have a cheeky little smile to yourself, feeling just a little bit smug and self-satisfied.

Take that, Ad Man!

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Day 64: Confessions of a Shopaholic

A friend of mine has asked me to publicly own up. I have behaved terribly recently. I have completely blown the budget. I confess, I am a shopaholic, and I have slipped up. I am embarrassing myself in front of you all in the hope that I won’t be so bad in the coming month…

1. Winter boots

2. Cord skirt

3. Birthday present for my cousin

4. Phil Collins’ Hits (revision, strangely, has turned me into a Phil Collins fan!)

5. Brrrr, it’s cold. Gloves, please!

6. Brrrr, it’s cold. Earmuffs, please!

7. Brrrr, it’s cold. Woolly tights, please!

8. Brrrr, it’s cold. Jumper, please!

9. Brrrr, it’s cold. Thick socks, please!

As you can see, a crazy month. . . I just went a bit mental and lost track of my spending.
An addiction to shopping is like any addiction. Even when you admit your problem, you’ll always be a “recovering addict”. There is, as yet, no cure.

Day 62: The Booze Blues

My liver is groaning at me, and my purse sympathises.

Let me give you an extract from my week:
On Friday I drank with my Grandad. It’s not often we get through a bottle of wine these days, because I’m usually driving afterwards. Last week, though, I stayed over, so we got the corkscrew out.
On Saturday I had a date and drank rather more than usual to compensate for my nerves.
On Sunday I met up with a friend for a drink post-church.
On Monday I helped out at a graduate recruitment evening, and, surprise surprise, more wine was involved.

You get the picture.

In London this is no cheap thrill. Although some of those glasses were free, some had to be paid for. Oh dear.

Another problem with drinking, especially after work, is that I need something to soak up the alcohol in my lightweight body. Last night I ended up spending £6.50 on my post-drinking alcohol sponge. Six pounds fifty! So annoying in the cold light of the sober morning. All I got was some fruit, a sandwich and a chocolate bar. I’d never hand over a crisp ten pound note for so little during the day.

Once the bottle is uncorked, though, money starts to feel like those little Monopoly notes. Somehow not real, with no impact on real life. It does impact, though, of course.

Have you ever had that horrible feeling of looking at your bank statement and seeing a series of amounts you’d forgotten about, post-booze? I just looked at my online banking, and remembered a few amounts I’d pushed to the back of my mind. Some amounts I’m not sure I even noticed at the time; I blindly punch in the PIN number on the terminal, without noticing the number before it.

I blame it on the wine, of course I do. But someone (okay, me…) makes the choice to drink in the first place. So now I’m going to make the effort to cut down. I’m not going teetotal (that would just be silly) but I’m going to start out by limiting myself to one night a week. That way I should also limit the surprises on the bank statement to a more manageable figure.

Cheers!

Day 59: Freebies!

I’m very snobby about “free” music. Let me just say it outright: illegally downloading music is theft. It’s no different to walking into HMV and walking out with a CD without paying. I’m not setting out to offend you, but if you illegally download music you are a thief, and therefore (in my opinion) immoral.

How ridiculous that I anticipate that being a controversial statement. I suppose many of you have stolen music before, and now feel a bit upset that I’m calling you a dirty little thief. Well, I’m making no apologies, so if you’re really offended, either get over it and read on, or navigate to a different website.

Great, now that’s over, let’s get on to the real topic for today.

One of my favourite musicians (Back Ted n-Ted) recently released his album in the UK for the price of pay-what-you-want. Radiohead did the same five years ago. Oh boy, it’s just so tempting to pay nothing, isn’t it? After all, he’s offering us that choice. If he didn’t want us to get it for free, he’d set a price. No? Well, perhaps he knows that if the price sticker read £9.99, people would just nick it instead. Perhaps “something”, be it 1p or twenty quid, is better than nothing at all.

A couple of years ago, in Berlin, I went to a great little wine bar called Perlin. Their pricing strategy was exactly the same. You went up to the bar and requested whichever wine you felt like. You walked away from the bar, glass in hand, no worse off. The idea was that at the end of the night you put into your empty wine glass as much as you felt like paying.
I guess the owners hope that by the end of the night, their slightly merry clientele will be slightly over-generous.
Sometimes it didn’t work that well. My friends and I took a mathematical approach, giving a glass of wine an average “price” and multiplying this by the number of glasses drunk. Our problem was not being able to remember how many glasses we’d had. . .
Well, Perlin has been going for thirteen years now, so it’s working somehow. I’d recommend it if you’re in Berlin.

When the recession first kicked in I read an article about a restaurant in the UK like this. They tempted in city workers for lunch, promising a meal for whatever price the customer felt that the meal and service merited.
Unfortunately, it didn’t work at all. Brits started leaving offensively small amounts. They saw it as a free meal, rather than looking at the family, struggling to keep their business afloat, trying to innovate to survive.

So, to the crux of the matter. Many of my friends are young, skint and in debt. Do we pay what we think the music, wine or meal is worth? Or do we milk the foolish sellers for as much as we can get? It’s not so clear cut, of course. It’s a personal decision, and most of us will probably opt for a price influenced by several factors, in between
1) the optimum price (free!),
2) what we can afford and
3) what we think it’s worth, or what the artist/seller deserves.

I hope that’s given you some food (and wine and music) for thought. Thanks for reading.

Day 56: Money Saving Expert @Home

As Savvy-Saver-In-Training, I’m an apprentice to anyone who’ll have me. This time, I looked to Martin Lewis of MoneySavingExpert.com for help.

Their “Money Makeover” has eleven tips in the “household” category which, they claim, can save you upwards of £6,750.

1. Gas and electricity

• The problem is that I’m a renter in a shared house. I’ve no idea how long I’ll be staying in my current pad, and to get the cheapest deals you need to tie yourself in for at least two years, or incur early exit fees that negate the benefit of switching suppliers in the first place. Secondly, opting for direct debit gives you great savings. Unfortunately, I can’t rely on my housemates to transfer the money before the bill leaves the joint account. Every time we accidentally fall into the overdraft, we incur a £25 fine, which also negates the savings you get initially.

Savings: Nil

2. Food shopping

• The argument goes that we’re all duped by the supermarket. We are too thick to understand that just because something is “three for two” doesn’t necessarily make it a great deal. Apparently we’re comforted by the words “discount” and “savings”, too blind to read our shopping lists (because we’re all doing shopping lists now, boys and girls, aren’t we?).
• As I’ve written about my food shopping before, I’ll leave you to read my other posts on this subject.

Savings: £50/month

3. Council tax

• It’s said that 400,000 homes are in the wrong council tax band, and are paying too much. Within minutes, you can check how much all of your neighbours are paying, to give you an idea of whether you’re one of the 400,000. I clicked onto direct.gov.uk and had a nosey to see what the houses around me were paying. With the exception of one house, which has been extended, and is now much larger than all the rest, we are all in the same band. No savings to be found here, then.

Savings: Nil

4. Home phone & broadband

• MoneySavingExpert says that you don’t need to pay any more than £15 per month to get top-notch telephone and broadband. Well, now I feel like a numpty. I did a lot of scouting around a couple of months ago, trying to get the best deal for our house. Orange was the one I settled for, and they charge us £25 per month for high speed broadband and unlimited phone calls at any time. The only upside I can see is that at least our bill is divided by three, so I’m only paying £8.83 each month. Ah well, you win some, you lose some.

Savings: Nil

5. Childcare costs

• Alleluia, praise the Lord! Not applicable.

Savings: Nil

6. Cut boiler cover costs

• Fortunately, my landlord is responsible for our boiler repair (which is rather frequent, in my house). No savings for me.

Savings: Nil

7. Free international calls

• I don’t make any international calls, but if I did, I’d use Skype anyway.

Savings: Nil

8. Calling mobiles

• My mobile contract gives me more free minutes than I use, and our home phone gives us free calls to mobiles.

Savings: Nil

9. Should you use a water meter?

• Already got one.

Savings: Nil

10. Cut your digital TV costs?

• We only have Freeview, which, as the name implies, is… free.

Savings: Nil

11. Direct debits

The instruction is thus:

“Being a Cancellation Hero is simple: unearth EVERY wasted regular payment and stop any you no longer need or use. “

As I’m pretty hot on keeping my finances in order (if not in the black) I’m well aware of what each of my direct debits is for. On the website people complain about having paid white goods insurance for over five years, without even realising! I’m not sure how you could do this, but I, for one, do not.

Savings: Nil

Well, Mr Lewis. I’m not very impressed with your eleven tips. You told me I would save seven grand, but the only saving I’ve made, I was already doing, without your help. Sigh. Still, I hope this has helped someone.

Day 53: Can’t afford a relationship?

Have you ever thought that a lack of money could be problematic in a relationship? Obviously if you’ve been seeing each other for a while, you probably know and accept one another’s financial situation. But what about when you first meet? Would you be embarrassed to tell a potential partner that you’re skint? Might you even pretend not to be, for a bit, just to make life a bit easier?

I guess finding a cheap venue for a date is easier in the summer; you can hang out in the park, go for a walk. All for the price of a lemon lolly.
As winter approaches, inexpensive hangouts are harder to find. I guess, as a first date, you could meet for a coffee without breaking the bank. At some stage, though, your date might suggest drinks, dinner, the cinema. Do you ’fess up, and tell them that you can’t afford it, or do you go along with it, to save face?

If you’re both in the same boat, financially speaking, it’s got to be easier. Knowing that the other person can’t afford the Ritz either means that you can suggest a cheap date without looking like, well, a cheap date.

But what if he or she is wealthier than you? I’m not talking about Bill Gates level here, but just a little bit better off. Going to the cinema might be their idea of a great night out, while you spend the whole film fretting over the price of the ticket.

I guess what I’m really talking about here is shame. Despite my best efforts to acclimatise to spending less, I still detest that sinking feeling in the stomach of knowing that I can’t afford something. Again, I’m not talking about diamonds, or a mansion. I’m embarrassed to tell someone that I’ve only just met, or whom I’m getting to know, that I can’t really afford THAT restaurant, to go for a second course, or share a bottle of wine.

Should I be nervous of telling them? Well, you might think that anyone who turns you down on the basis of your wealth is not worth seeing anyway. On the other hand, maybe they would just be acting rationally.

In my opinion, in a good relationship, you enjoy spending time with one another. Sure, you each have your own interests, but fundamentally there are things you want to do with one another. Let’s imagine that your potential partner’s hobbies include skiing, expensive meals out, and front row theatre seats in the West End, none of which you can afford. Is it shallow of that person not to want to be with you, because you don’t have enough money? I’ll leave that for you to ponder.

Thanks for reading.

Day 52: Just when I was doing so well…

Just when I was doing so well… THIS HAPPENS!!!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Google, how could you do this to me?!

 

Day 51: Plan A

Are any of you also part of the see it-want it-get it brigade? I certainly was, and it’s taken quite a lot of hard work to change that. Now I just see it-want it, and feel rather disappointed I can’t get it then and there.

So, can I ever buy what I want, or am I doomed to eternal frustration?

Of course I can still buy things, even outrageously expensive things, if I so desire. I just have to make sure that I have the money to do so before I hand over the plastic, rather than guiltily stressing out afterwards. The new mantra is want it-save for it-get it.

Let me give you an example. There’s something I’ve wanted for a long time, but thought I’d never realistically be able to afford. Well, two things actually. Flights to America and to Cambodia.

Unlike, say, a new laptop or even a car, I can’t write down the exact price of these, because they’re constantly changing. This would be the first step: write down how much the thing you want costs. Whether it’s a mansion in the centre of London, or something much smaller, you need to have an idea of the cost, so that you have something solid to work towards.

Secondly, we need a time frame. For me, I know that I can get flights much more cheaply if I go before I reach 26. That gives me around 650 days to save. On the basis that I go before I turn 26, a rough estimate would be £800 for Cambodia and £500 to the US.

Thirdly, get out that calculator! In my case, to save £1,300 in 650 days would be £2 per day. So, roughly the price of a cup of coffee.

Depending on your personal situation, you might need to switch the last two points over. For example, if you know that you can only afford to save a very limited amount per month, you’ll have to work out your time frame on that basis.

 

Now then, do we all have a chubby pink piggy bank to pop in those pounds every day? A daily act of physically putting aside the cash would be reasonable for something like a meal out, or a new pair of jeans, but I’d probably need a life-sized piggy to save for my ambitions.

A better idea for me is a savings account and a standing order. It took me about two minutes to set mine up. I have the set amount going out from my current account on the first day of the month; then I have a leftover amount to live off for the rest of the month. If I forget all about the savings account for the next 650 days, and do absolutely nothing else, I will have amassed enough to see my family in Cambodia, and friends in the States.

It’s something I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to do, but as the sand grains slip through the hourglass, slowly but surely, I’ll get there.

Day 48: Goodbye for now…

Hi readers,

Well, I’m just past the half way mark in my 90 day journey from debt to savings, and it’s going pretty well.

However, there comes a time when you have to take life seriously (boo!) which for me means nose to the grindstone, hardcore studying. I absolutely love writing, and I’m so, so grateful to everyone who has told me that they’ve enjoyed my writing too. It is time-consuming, though, and these days I’m not just cash-poor but time-poor too.

Hopefully I’ll find enough time to write the odd post, but until mid-December, I’ve just got to focus on my exams.

Thanks for reading-

2,658 views to date 🙂

Shopaholic xxx