Day 45: Tithe Me Up!

Where there is charity and wisdom, there is neither fear nor ignorance.

Francis of Assisi

How much do you give to charity? Is it a little, a lot?

It has recently come out in the news that young people don’t give nearly as much, proportionately, as older people. What is the long-term impact of this on charities? Will they be sustainable?

To me, it seems that asking how much one gives to charity is akin to asking someone’s salary. In Britain, at least, still taboo.

Historically, religions have provided a guide as to how much to give. In Islam, zakat, the third pillar of Islam, requires an annual contribution of 2.5% of an individual’s wealth and assets. Tzedakah is the name for compulsory giving for Jews; Deuteronomy commands ten percent of earnings to be given away every three years.

Perhaps the decline in religious affiliation correlates to the fall in giving by younger generations.

So, when I’m in debt, and trying desperately to scramble out, what should I give? Nothing? A little?

When I started work, I signed up to Give As You Earn or Payroll Giving. It’s fantastic for charities, because their income is steady, and guaranteed. It’s also great for you, because deductions are made pre-tax, which means that (if you’re a basic rate tax payer) giving a tenner to charity effectively only costs you eight quid.

As a church-goer, how much I give to charity is based on a guideline from my church. Guidelines are useful; in schools there are rules to teach children how to behave, in society we have laws to keep order. In religion, alms-giving commandments are similar. If it’s a law, rather than a choice, there is no alternative. That’s not to say that we should feel forced into giving, just that it makes it the happy norm; it would be abnormal not to give.

Zakat, tzedakah, tithe. Do we need religions to impose rules on us, to behave charitably? In one American study*, religiosity and charitable giving were causally linked, and across the web many seem to think the same. Of course we don’t need these rules. Of course atheists, agnostics, and so on, give to charity, and do not need the threat of eternal damnation or an angry god to compel them to do so.

For me, it’s just useful having someone to tell me how much is a reasonable amount. At the start of the post, I asked you if you give a little or a lot. Who knows?

I like this quotation and I hope that, whether religiously inclined or not, you do too (non-believers can just ignore the last six words!):

Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver

(2 Corinthians 9:7)

*Wolfgang Bielefeld, Gifts of Money and Time: the Role of Charity in America’s Communities, ed. Arthur C. Brooks (New York: Rowman & Littlefield, 2005).

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Day 43: The Yo-Yo Diet

“Shopaholic”, I hear you cry, “have you gone on a diet?”. Well, my friends, in a way. It occurred to me earlier that this cut-back exercise is quite like a diet in some respects; a self imposed restriction on things I like.

Given the similarities, are there lessons I can learn from yo-yo dieters, without making the mistakes myself?

The yo-yo cycle often occurs because dieters are so strict with themselves at the start. The effort is so extreme that is is completely impossible to sustain.

Likewise, I found my sudden halt in spending pretty tough, and have a longing for some former favourites. I miss flicking through a magazine, buying into the latest trend, enjoying a large glass of Chilean Merlot on a Friday night. It’s oh-so-tempting to slip back into old habits.

Initially, dieters feel great; they’re looking forward to the weight loss, and they’re proud of themselves for shunning the sugar. As time crawls along, though, it seems harder to sustain. Tired and fed up, they reach for a pick-me-up: food.
Again, I relate to the experience; I felt very self-satisfied with my initial budget-slashing, and looked forward to watching the debt diminish and the savings stack up. When I passed the first thirty day marker, still in debt and still running a deficit, my motivation wavered. I felt like reaching for my equivalent of the dieter’s chocolate bar: the shops.

So, having failed, and feeling upset, the dieter eats more and more until they regain the weight they lost (and usually a bit more).

And here’s the lesson. Now that the initial excitement has passed, and I am in the humdrum period of living with less, how do I ensure I do not slip backwards?
Already I’ve clocked myself casually buying tea at Pret-a-Manger and “forgetting” my packed lunch. It’s so easy to forget how quickly all those “little extras” used to kill off my cash.

Perhaps the trick is to treat myself with non-monetary rewards. Here are a few of my practically free treats:
1) Time spent relaxing is pretty cheap; a candle-lit bubble bath, chilling out in front of the TV, doing the crossword and listening to the radio are all pretty much free, and are all amongst my favourite things to do!
2) Living in one of the most hectic cities in the world is fantastic, but escaping to the country is a retreat, and another cheap thrill. Just looking at the sky and the stars, listening to the birds sing or breathing in the heady fresh air all make such a difference; I know it sounds clichéd and trite, but it’s true.
3) Unfortunately for the real yo-yo dieter, food is a great pleasure, and as I’ve learned, doesn’t have to be expensive to taste delicious and be nutritionally balanced.

“Joy” comes in all kinds of guises, and what qualifies for my list won’t necessarily be on yours. One thing’s for sure, though. Having a few reliable freebies on the list, whatever they may be, certainly helps the shopaholic to cut back!

Thanks for reading,
Xx

Day 41: Savvy saver or massive miser?

Searching for inspiration for more cost-cutting tricks, I just came across a forum on loo roll use.
Come on, hundreds of people spending hours discussing how to minimise toilet paper use? One, gross, and two, get a life!! Perhaps this is the signal to prompt me into taking my cost reduction exercise more seriously. On the other hand… No. Just, no.

More seriously, I did come across a couple of more useful ideas. One with remarkably higher success rates than I expected was haggling.

The money saving expert website did a poll of 2,544 people, where at least 100 attempted to haggle in each store. In Comet, B&Q and Currys/PC World 78% met with success.

Could I do it, though? It takes a certain chutzpah to even attempt to barter, which I’m just not sure I have.

The easiest place to barter, I find, is my local market. The greengrocer has an easy, flirty rapport with his customers and often offers a “discount” (either to shift produce nearing the end of its life, or where the so-called “discount” is no such thing). The irony, of course, is that the greengrocer’s margins are much slimmer than the major supermarkets’, where I would never dare to barter.

If you’re interested, though, the poll found 60% luck at Asda, 58% at Tesco and 54% at Sainsbury’s. So, if you’re confident enough, it’s certainly worth a try. The worst outcome will be “no”.

The cashiers at the supermarket checkout are usually in no position to offer a discount, while 10% off a single sale would have a negligible result on their finances. On the other hand, the greengrocer is autonomous enough to gauge what effect a discount would have on his profits. One discount could be damaging to his finances, yet could keep customers loyal.

Personally, I don’t have the audacity required; I’d hate the humiliation of trying and failing at the supermarket checkout. I’d hate the awkwardness of requesting a further discount on already bargain prices from the greengrocer.

 

If you’re brave enough, though, go for it. You’ve got nothing to lose.

Day 39: Hello Boys!

When I first started writing this blog, I blithely assumed I’d get many times more female readers than male. I cemented my own prejudice with a pink logo and background, and pictures of young women laden with shopping bags.

So it has been surprising to find that men have been telling me how they enjoy my writing, and that they relate to the subject matter.

I consider myself a feminist (it’s not a dirty word, y’know), so it’s incredibly embarrassing for me that, without thinking about it, I equated a lack of self-restraint, and the inability to manage money, with being a woman. I suppose it has just been ingrained in me that women go out to shop, vainly buying fripperies, while men do not. Ouch.

I’m shocked at my own prejudice. Lloyds TSB issued their ’Family Savings Report’ last month. It showed that when women are in charge of household finances, 91% of families hold savings, whereas the figure goes down to 82% when men take on the role.

The report also showed that it is women, more often than men, who take charge of the household budget. 52% take control of making detailed future plans for savings and 54% pay day-to-day bills and keep track of spending.

So, do I have any excuse at all for my extremely un-feminist view that women shop and spend more than men?

Women certainly do have expenses that men do not. Biology plays its part (I’m thinking of everything from sanitary products to bras), but so do the demands of society. Haircuts, make-up, ever-changing fashions, handbags, nail varnish? Not things that every woman relishes spending her hard-earned cash on, but often bought out of a sense of simply having to do so, to keep up or fit in. Women’s magazines are forever promoting the “payday splurge”, reinforcing the notion that women cannot, or should not, get on top of their personal finance.

Increasingly, though, men are coming under pressure to look good, too. The fashion industry is starting to pay more attention to trends in menswear, and cosmetics advertising is beginning to target men more often.

Debates on the question of whether women’s lives are more expensive often suggest that men have other expenses that women do not, citing technology and cars. Perhaps I’m just being hyper-hypocritical here, but I find this argument extremely patronising. My iPad, smartphone and my gorgeous car, for example, are among my favourite possessions.

So, whose lives are more expensive? Or does it all even out in the wash?

I’d love to hear your thoughts. Comment below, or write on the Facebook wall.
Xxx

Day 37: #EpicFail

For those of you who read my post on the Livingstone Tanzania Trust two days ago, prepare yourself for a stark shock.

Readers, I confess to you that I have slipped up. I have not kept to the budget at all recently. In fact, I would go so far as to say that, in diet-terms, I have just had an ice-cream/chocolate/crisps and cake all-out binge. And now I feel a little bit sick.

This used to happen a lot. It’s how I ended up buying an iPad, in fact. I was having a particularly rubbish day, and after leaving work, I went home via the shopping centre. Before I knew it I was walking out of a shop having just paid an inordinate amount for a gadget for which I had no need. It’s as though I’m in a hypnotic trance when it happens; my head is wrongly programmed to react with “BUY! BUY! BUY!” in response to sadness, stress or anger.

Recently, though, I’ve been a lot better. I think this is to do with feeling accountable, as a result of writing this blog. I could have just lied to you all, and pretended that I was behaving like an angel, making no mistakes, and generally being perfect. I’m not, though. Obviously.

However, I have been feeling a bit low, and my old shopping habits came back in force. I even used all my old excuses to let myself get away with it, to convince myself that I was doing nothing wrong. “It’ll be an early Christmas present (to myself)” or “Well, I do really need it” or even “If I buy it on my credit card, it doesn’t count as part of this month’s budget”. It’s just too easy to click “Buy Now” in an internet browser, without thinking through the consequences.

Fortunately, I haven’t quite gone to iPad extremes, this time.

I know I need to do something more useful, less destructive, to help myself when I’m down. I’m too hyper for yoga, pilates or meditation. But, generally, I’m open to ideas. Readers, please, I’m depending on you now! What should I do to calm down and relax, without resorting to shopping? All ideas will be appreciated. You can write on the wall of the Shopaholic Cuts Back Facebook page (http://www.facebook.com/ShopaholicCutsBack) or in the comments box below.

Thanks, readers!

xxx

Day 35: Perspective

“Like, oh-my-god, this whole, like “not shopping” thing is, like, so hard.”

 

While I go on struggling with my lamentable attempts to cut down on caffeine and consumables, the “Make a Difference” service at my church is a fantastic opportunity to get some perspective on things.

Last Sunday, Julian Page, from the Livingstone Tanzania Trust (LTT), came to talk. A legacy fund from Holy Trinity has been supporting the Trust, and Julian came to talk to us about what had been achieved over the past year with the money given.

I found the talk extremely moving; I’d been having a bad day, mulling over everything that was wrong in the world, and hearing about the work of the Trust both exacerbated and alleviated this. Oxymoronic, I know.

 

Well, it made me even more sad and angry, because the problems faced by those the LTT helps are still so basic. Consider, for a moment, that people in Britain have just spent days queuing for the latest iPhone. Then consider that in Tanzania nursery-aged children are being given substandard education in rooms such as this:

http://www.livingstonetanzaniatrust.com/our-work/gallery/?wppa-album=5&wppa-photo=723&wppa-occur=1

On the other hand, I was cheered by how much has been done to improve things. Julian was emphatic in the “hand up not hand out” philosophy of the Trust, and made it clear that they were not going over to Tanzania to impose our “better” way of life on the people there.

In any case, would you argue that the consumerist, western ways are “better”?

Just look at the smile on this child’s face (thanks to the LTT for this photo):

 

 

Julian’s presentation reminded me of my own visit to a country bordering Tanzania to the south, Malawi.

Although it was now quite a few years ago, I remember my trip to Malawi as one of the most privileged, eye-opening and rewarding times of my life.

During his talk, Julian mentioned how happy people are in Tanzania. (Happy, remember, without the iPhone 5. . .) I experienced the same thing in Malawi. I was humbled by how people could have such warm, bright smiles on their faces amidst such grinding, apparently unending, poverty.

 

Me at the Open Arms Orphanage in Blantyre, Malawi (before Madonna came along. . .)

 

It’s important, I feel, to keep putting things into perspective, especially while writing this blog.

I may come across as materialistic, possibly narcissistic, in my shallow existence. So it’s crucial to show the other side; to remind myself (and others) that struggling not to buy x, y or z, is just nothing. Nothing.

When you see the state of the classrooms that young children are being educated in (if they get schooling at all), how can you possibly dither over buying something else that you don’t even need?

 

Thanks for reading. xxx

 

With many thanks to Julian Page, Director of Operations and Trustee of the Livingstone Tanzania Trust

You can find out much more about the Trust’s work at their website:

http://www.livingstonetanzaniatrust.com/

If you’d like to donate to the Livingstone Tanzania Trust, please visit:

http://www.livingstonetanzaniatrust.com/donate/how-to-donate/