As a child, I wanted to become a spy.
Somewhere along the way, my career path diverged, and I became a trainee auditor.
It’s more or less the same thing, really.
You develop a knack for detecting lies, you sniff out illegal behaviour, you’re away from home for long periods of time, and you’re not allowed to tell your family and friends what you’ve found out at work that day.
However exciting my chosen career may be, it’s not been funding my extravagant lifestyle adequately. I began to think, “what if I could find a similarly glamorous, secretive activity to help bolster my bank account?”.
Well, my friends, I think I may have found just the thing.
I carefully completed my application form one evening. I took, and passed, tests in spelling, grammar and syntax. I received an e-mail the next day, informing me that I was now on probation. If I performed my work well, I would be taken on permanently. If, however, I missed the slightest detail, or completed any aspect incorrectly, I would be summarily dismissed, with a black mark against my name for ever more.
My first assignment is on Saturday evening. I’ve received my instructions, which explain everything that I must observe and do at length. I even have to take covert photographs as part of the task, while managing not to reveal my true identity. Due to confidentiality, I can’t even tell you where the job is, or any further details. What I can tell you, though, is that this will earn me the grand total of £4.75, plus expenses.
Fulfilling a childhood dream AND earning nearly a fiver in the process? An all-round win, I’d say!